It was a glorious day, a little girl dressed in white, a boy in black.
This is what I wrote to read at the wedding ceremony.
March 23, 2012
Becky and Patrick’s Wedding Day
Becky asked if I would speak today and of course I agreed. Not being one who is shy about giving advice I wondered what could I say to these two very special people who already know so much about each other? And then I realized that even when you have lived together, and have known each other a long time, discovery can take you by surprise. Sometimes it’s like a startling balloon burst of air, raising your eyebrows and lifting you off your seat, and sometimes discovery takes the wind out of your argument, leaving you speechless. These momentous revelations feed a long and happy marriage.
Becky…when you least expect it, you will discover a simplicity of thought or emotion which will bring Patrick to tears. He will be moved by a sentiment or action which runs deeper in him than you ever imagined. Like the day I discovered that flags make your father cry. They unfurl in honor of loyalty and sacrifice, why would they not move the patriotic man I married. This kind of emotional undressing will endear Patrick to you beyond words.
Patrick, from Becky’s disheveled landscape, and complicated road map to goal, you will discover a sense of order and focus, that will take your breath away. Her tenacity and ambition, masked by disarray, will surprise you. While contemplating what I was going to say today, I asked Bob; in all the time we’ve been together what discoveries have you made about me which you found surprising? His presumptive answer…he knows everything there is to know about me.
Patrick, honey…from someone who’s been married almost 32 years…assume nothing.
From this day onward, throw out your suppositions about each other. You have a lifetime together to learn that which is mysterious about your partner. Some of these discoveries will break your heart and some will fill it to overflowing.
There will be times, when in your darkest moments a light will shine from one of you, to show the other, a path through. There will be times when laughter, so hard to come by, will rise to the surface and wash away a difficult moment. There will be times you cannot stand to be in the same room with the person you have married and a time when nothing will dissuade you from your riveted stance beside your partner. And there will be times when you will look at each other and wonder; who is this wing-nut I am married to?
You both come from a line of long-married parents and grand-parents. This example of hanging-in and holding-on illustrates the importance of communication, respect and always a sense of humor. This day, this special day is a new beginning for you both, a new beginning for all of us. We know you as individuals, now we get to discover who you are as a married couple and you get to discover the future together.